How Everyone Started Sleeping Together (2/4ish)
Summary: Sora didn't mean for things to get so complicated so fast. Mostly, he blames Roxas. Post-KH2, ignores KH3D.
Pairings: Sora/Riku/Kairi + Sora/Riku/Roxas + Roxas/Axel + and all subsets thereof.
Warnings: Weird consent issues arising from people sharing bodies (no actual dubcon or noncon in my opinion, but read at your own risk).
Previous part can be found here.
Also, Roxas complicated things. Sora had offered Roxas an equal share in his life, and he wasn't sure how that would work with dating. Would they both date the same person? Would Sora date Kairi while Roxas dated Namine? Was Namine even still around the way Roxas was? It wasn't like there was a guide that came with this, or anything.
None of it seemed to quite fit right, so Sora decided to let the issue sit for a while. It wasn't like there was a rush, or anything. They had time to figure all of this out.
The time or two that Sora brought it up with Roxas, Roxas refused to talk about any of it, and Sora wasn't sure why. All he got in return for his questions was silence. Roxas just refused to talk to Sora about romance at all.
Until one day, Sora asked, "So what were your feelings towards Namine, then?"
Roxas was silent, then, too, and for a moment Sora thought that this was going to be just like all the other times he'd tried to get Roxas to open up. He paid close attention to his feelings, though, because if Roxas liked Namine as much as Sora liked Kairi, then Sora was bound to feel some of the overflow.
But there was no overflow of love or anything. There was just confusion.
"Namine?" Roxas repeated. "She was a friend. She was the only who could really understand what it was like to be a Nobody. She also erased my memories of Axel, so sometimes I'm not too fond of her. Why do you ask?"
"I thought you might have liked her," Sora said. "I don't know. The way I like Kairi?"
Roxas seemed even more confused by this. "No," he said, finally. "No, not- not Namine. Never her."
There was a wash of sadness from him, then, which Sora didn't fully understand. And that was all Sora got out of him, that day.
It was just after a particularly long spar to stay in shape with their keyblades, out on the play island, just Riku and Sora. Sora was sweaty and sort of high on adrenaline, because fighting Riku was hard, though fun. And Riku looked sort of dazed, even though he'd won. And then, with no warning at all, he bent hold and caught Sora's mouth with his own.
Sora let out a sort of squawk and pulled away. It wasn't that it was unwelcome- though he wasn't sure yet if it was- but he hadn't been expecting it. Hadn't thought about anything like that before, not with Riku. To be honest, he'd only half-thought about this sort of stuff with Kairi, and hadn't come to any conclusions yet.
Riku looked hurt, and Sora was sorry.
"You didn't seem to mind before," Riku said, and whatever reply Sora had been preparing died on his lips.
"Huh?" he started saying, and then Roxas pushed Sora into the back of their mind and said: "I wasn't expecting it, you dork," and Sora would have let out a sudden sound of comprehension if he'd had control of his mouth.
And suddenly Sora's heart was beating fast, and Riku was pressing against him, solid and warm, and uncomfortable in a way that was causing Sora to rapidly re-evaluate his sexuality. And Roxas was pressing back, tongue working against Riku's in a way that made it obvious this wasn't the first time the two of them had done this.
You didn't tell me that you and Riku... Sora said, a little breathlessly even though he technically didn't need breath to talk in his head.
Roxas didn't reply. He was a little busy.
Sora spent a moment trying to decide how weird this situation was, and then gave up and relaxed into it. He had another person living in his head. Things were always going to be weird.
After that, he didn't try interrupting anymore.
Later, after Riku had walked Roxas home and left him there to work on homework, Sora took control back.
"He thinks you're me," Sora said, when he had his mouth back. (Albeit a little swollen) "Doesn't he?"
In the back of his mind, Roxas said: I am you.
And that was sort of true, but in a lot of really fundamentally important ways it wasn't. This wasn't math class, where it didn't really matter which one of them did the work, as long as someone in their head knew math. This was about people, and feelings, and it mattered who was doing what. If Riku thought he was dating Sora, when he was really just making out with Roxas, Sora wasn't sure how this whole mess could end in anything other than heartbreak. For all three of them.
"You're going to have to tell him you still exist," Sora said.
I kept it secret this long, Roxas said. He doesn't suspect a thing. There was a weird sense of pride from him at that, mixed with sadness. And that guilt again, that Sora had thought was about Axel. Apparently it was about Riku, instead. At least, right now it was. Sora still wasn't letting go of his survivor's guilt theory.
Sora was pretty sure that the kissing thing couldn't have been going on for more than about a week and a half. That was how long Roxas had been making the walk to school on his own. That was the only time he could have been kissing Riku without Sora noticing.
"What if I didn't want to date Riku?" Sora asked. (As a purely hypothetical question, because if he'd realized Riku was that good of a kisser, he might have done something about it earlier.)
The problem with upsetting Roxas was that they shared a heart. So the bolt of panic hit Sora, too, sudden and painful.
"I'm not going to break up with him," Sora said. "Stop panicking, I can't think."
He took a few breaths. Gradually, the panic subsided.
You want what I want, Roxas said, which was broadly true. It came with the shared heart. But just because they felt the same things didn't mean they felt them with the same intensity. Sora hadn't even realized that they were attracted to Riku. To guys. There had always been Kairi before. There was still Kairi, in fact. His feelings for her hadn't gone anywhere, just because he'd realized he felt things for Riku, too.
This whole situation was a mess. Sora wasn't sure how he could possibly fix it.
"I'm not going to lie to Riku for you," Sora said. "You're going to tell him. Okay?"
Roxas didn't reply, and he continued to not-reply no matter how Sora rephrased his demands and mentally shouted.
Roxas continued to sulk for the next day, which meant that Sora had to get up and get ready on his own. He didn't know what to do with the stupid hair gel, so he just let his hair flop around whichever way it wanted to. It probably looked terrible, but of the two of them, only Roxas was going to be really upset about Sora's bedhead. Served him right.
Riku didn't show up for the walk to school, and Sora wasn't sure if he ought to be glad or upset.
Roxas sulked all the way through math class, and if Sora had been lost in math before, it was nothing compared to how lost he was now, after Roxas handling it for so long.
There was a quiz. Roxas was still nowhere to be found.
I get it, Sora told him, as he stared at the page, desperately trying to think of answers to put down. Any answers. Even wrong ones, if he could just put something down. You made your point. I need you.
This failed to appease Roxas. Sora turned in the quiz mostly blank.
By the lunchtime, Sora was seriously worried, and more than a little exhausted. He'd been relying on Roxas a lot. It was work to pay attention for the whole day. How did people with only one mind handle it?
Was Roxas really that upset?
He collapsed next to Kairi on the bench at their table with an audible thunk.
"Are you okay?" Kairi asked.
"Tired," he said, and sort of collapsed onto the table. "Have I mentioned that I hate math lately?"
He could feel Riku's strange look at that. Maybe Roxas had told him that he liked math while pretending to be Sora, the weirdo.
"The quiz was pretty hard," Kairi said. "But I'm sure you did fine. You've been doing so well in math." She gave him an encouraging smile.
Sora just groaned.
Riku took his hand, and didn't say anything, and Sora could almost feel Roxas' half of their heart getting lighter. Or maybe it was just him.
When Roxas still hadn't made an appearance by nightfall, Sora said: "If you don't let me know you're okay, I'm going to find Riku and tell him everything right now."
Reluctantly, Roxas said: Don't.
"I don't see why you're so worried," Sora said. "Riku likes us. It doesn't matter that it was you who kissed him, right? I mean, it's always going to be both of us. We share the same heart. And, you know, lips."
He'll be mad, Roxas said. And yeah, Sora could see that. Riku didn't like lies. No one did.
And that was when he thought of another plan.
"Roxas is still alive, you know," Sora told Riku, when they were walking home from school together he next day. Kairi was late because of a meeting for another of her clubs. That meant this was the perfect time to talk to Riku alone.
"Yeah?" Riku said.
Taking a breath, before Roxas could stop him, Sora said: "He likes you too, you know."
Riku raised an eyebrow. "Is that so?"
Roxas was panicking again. Sora tried not to let it show. "Yeah," he said. And then, in the spirit of full disclosure, he said: "We've been taking turns being in control, you know. With classes and things."
He looked straight into Riku's eyes and said: "Would it be weird if he kissed you?"
Riku looked a bit taken aback.
Come on, Sora thought- quietly, so that Roxas didn't hear. Don't be weird about this.
"Well... If he wants to."
Your turn, Sora told Roxas, and pushed him to the front of their mind.
Roxas blinked in the sunlight, the panic now fully evident on their face. He looked at Riku, who was sort of looming above them and looking at them curiously. It was obvious that he wasn't going to make the first move. The two of them stood like statues for a moment, neither moving.
This isn't the first time you've kissed him, Sora said.
At that, Roxas seemed a little more certain. He tilted his head up. "You're going to have to bend down a bit," he said, voice way too hostile to be romantic at all. "I'm not jumping."
Riku's mouth twisted into a smirk. "Alright," he said. He leaned down, and caught Roxas' mouth.
It was a lot gentler than the kisses before. The ones that Riku had thought were for Sora. And that was okay, because Roxas was a lot more hesitant now.
It lasted only a moment, and it was almost- almost- chaste.
I've kissed him before, Roxas said to Sora, after another moment of staring. But that was the first time he kissed me.
And then Sora was the one in control again. He grinned, put his hands behind his head, and did a little stretch. "See? That went well."
Riku laughed a little, kind of awkwardly. "So how does this work? You said you've been sharing control? I mean, until a moment ago, I thought he was- you know. Gone."
"We're both here," Sora said. "All the time. Just- we take turns being in control. It's working out."
"Right," Riku said. If he was weirded out, he was doing a good job of hiding it. Sora gave him a thankful smile, and they continued walking.
See, Sora said. That wasn't so bad.
He still doesn't know it was me that kissed him before, Roxas said. This is only marginally more honest.
It feels a lot more honest, Sora said. The rest can come later, when he's used to the idea of you.
Roxas wasn't panicking any more, at least.
Sora had possibly the worst luck in the world, because later that day, Kairi asked him out.
Sora opened his mouth. He closed it.
"I like you," he said. I really do. But..." he said. He scratched his head. "I think I'm dating Riku. Sort of."
"Sort of?" Kairi asked, one eyebrow arching up in amusement.
What followed was a long, tangled explanation.
"So," Kairi said when he was finished, "Roxas is dating Riku. Who thinks he's been dating you."
"I think we're both dating him," Sora said, while Roxas remained silent and unhelpful in the back of his mind. "I mean, Roxas isn't the only one who likes him. But I like you, too. I like both of you."
He scratched his head. "Do you and Naminé have this much trouble?"
Kairi looked at him evenly for a moment. "Naminé and I are the same person."
"Huh?" Sora asked.
"We aren't separate," Kairi said. "There isn't a voice in the back of my head. There isn't another person inside of me. We're the same."
"Huh," Sora said. "Isn't that weird, though? To have two sets of memories but be one person?"
"It feels right," she said. "I assumed it was the same for you, until today. I guess it's a complicated thing."
"Yeah," Sora said. "You can say that again."
She smiled at him. "You'll figure it out," she said. "Close your eyes?"
Her lips barely brushed against his before she pulled away again. "Give Riku that kiss from me when you see him," she said, with a cryptic little smile, as though she had figured everything out already and was just waiting for Sora to catch up.
And then she left him alone, to puzzle things out.
"Do you think it's possible to love two people at once?" Roxas asked Riku the next day, as they sat alone on the beach near the Secret Place.
Sora wished the ground would swallow him up, right there. Or that he could hit Roxas. Without hitting himself, because that kind of ruined the whole thing.
Riku gave him a thoughtful look. "I don't see why not." His look was guarded. Wary. And Sora thought, no, no, no, but Roxas didn't shut up.
"I'm not talking about us," Roxas said, gesturing at his and Sora's chest. "I mean, that's a whole bundle of complications on its own, but I'm not talking about that right now." At that Riku looked even more wary. "I'm talking about Kairi," Roxas said. "It's always been pretty obvious that you like her."
Riku frowned. Sora let out an internal sigh of relief, and chimed in with, "Remember that Paopu fruit you wanted to share with her? You challenged me to a contest to see you would get to share it with her. I mean, you never exactly hid the fact that you liked her."
"It's not a bad thing," Roxas said. "I mean, Sora likes her, too." Sora had a few choice words to say about that, but Roxas ignored him. "And I'm pretty sure she likes both of you. She told Sora to give you a kiss from her."
Sora didn't miss how Riku's eyes darkened a bit, when he realized it was Roxas in control at the moment, and not Sora. Roxas couldn't have missed it, either. But he didn't say anything.
"The three of you work well together," Roxas said. "And it's completely obvious that all of you are stupidly in love with each other. I just thought I should tell you. Since Sora won't ever do it."
"Oh," Riku said. And then: "What about you?"
Roxas shrugged. "Kairi is nice enough. I'm not really interested in her that way, though. She's. You know. A girl." He shrugged. "But I'm already sharing you with Sora. One more person doesn't make that big a difference to me."
Riku laughed a little. And Sora thought, no, this couldn't be this easy. Nothing was ever this easy.
"We'll have to have a talk, later," he said. And then he smirked a little, and said: "But that's enough talking for right now, okay?"
"Fine by me," Roxas said.
Riku wasn't so much taller when they were both sitting down. Roxas could initiate things. He wasn't gentle. He bit Riku's lips a little too hard. He left hickeys. He treated kissing like a battle, like he was determined to leave marks like bruises on Riku's skin.
Sora was right there, too. He wasn't at the back of the mind, though he wasn't quite in control, either. He felt every movement as keenly as if he were making them, anticipated what Roxas was going to do at any moment, because he would have done the same thing. In this moment, there wasn't really a difference between being in the back seat and being in the driver's seat, so to speak.
This moment- this was as close as they were ever going to get to being the same person again.
And then, abruptly, Riku stilled.
"This isn't Sora now, is it?"
Roxas pulled himself off of Riku, annoyed. "It's Roxas," he said. "Who do you think you've been talking to for the last half hour?"
"You kiss the same as Sora does," Riku said. He relaxed again. Marginally.
"We're the same person," Roxas said. "Well, sort of. What did you expect?"
You could just tell him, Sora said, annoyed at the half-truths.
But Riku relaxed all the way, then, and put his hand on the side of Roxas' face, and kissed him again. Gently.
And Sora's annoyance melted away because Roxas was really, really happy for the first time Sora could remember.
How could he be mad about that?
Sora and Riku and Kairi did have that talk, the next day. Or, they tried to. They all met up for the walk to Sora's house after school, where they were theoretically going to study but were probably actually going to talk for hours first.
"Kairi," Sora said, words bursting out of him to fill the usually-comfortable silence. "I gave Riku that kiss, like you said."
She smiled cryptically. "And?"
"And..." Sora wasn't sure what to say. This had been a lot easier in his head.
Riku seemed a too sheepish to talk at all, and finally Roxas just took over and said "Look, Kairi. Sora and Riku both like you, and they aren't sure what to do about it."
Kairi smiled brightly, not at all thrown off by Roxas' intrusion into the conversation. "Well, what do you normally do when you like a girl?"
"But we both like you," Sora said. "And we're dating each other, and we don't want to break up. But Roxas doesn't feel that way about you, and I don't know how you feel at all-although Roxas says you like me- and-"
Kairi pressed a finger against his mouth. "Shh," she said. And then she gave him a kiss.
"I'm not going to choose between you," she announced. And Sora thought, Oh no, she's going to have us fight to the death.
Don't be an idiot, Roxas told him, and Sora would have stuck his tongue out at Roxas if there were any feasible way to do it that didn't make him look insane.
"I love both of you," she added. "And you both love me, and each other. I don't see why we can't just all date."
Riku looked stunned by this pronouncement. "Are you sure?" he asked. "You'd be- okay with that?"
"Yes," she said. "I would be more than okay. I'd be delighted." She smiled, and pressed one of Sora's hands to Riku's, the way she had when Riku had looked like Xehanort's Heartless, and it was like that moment all over again, where Sora had realized that they were finally, finally together again.
And it was funny because they were only agreeing to date, it felt like something more permanent. Something that would last forever. And maybe they'd been heading that way since they all shared that paopu fruit a few weeks ago, or maybe since Kairi had washed up on their island and the three of them had been together for the first time, all those years ago.
It had always been three of them. Because if it were any fewer, one of them would get left out.
Now Roxas was here and it was more complicated, but complication wasn't necessarily a bad thing. It was just... what it was. And Sora was perfectly okay with that.
Kairi's kisses belonged to Sora, and Riku's kisses belonged to Roxas and Sora equally. That was the way they split things up. Roxas sort of faded to the back of his mind when Sora and Kairi were making out, and Sora- well, didn't, when Roxas was kissing Riku.
Kissing Riku was still the closest that the two of them came to being the same person. When both of them were trying to do the same thing at the same time, it was less a struggle for control and more a struggle to be faster, faster. Sora wasn't sure about his first time kissing Riku. It was all muddled up with Roxas' times kissing Riku. And that was okay, because Sora didn't mind sharing, especially when it didn't even feel like sharing.
Kissing Kairi was a lot less of a muddle. He and Riku had to take turns with it, of course. Kairi only had one mouth, after all, and Riku and Sora had one each. This turned out to be a lot less confusing than three people kissing with two mouths, though, and they worked it out without too much trouble.
Sora and Riku were both a lot gentler with Kairi than each other. Maybe it was the memory of seeing her lying on the ground, worse than dead, heart gone- but Sora was careful with her, like she might break if he was too rough. And if anything, Riku was even more timid with her.
And then, after a few weeks of dating, when Sora and Kairi were sitting in the Secret Place- now decorated with a worn old couch and a table Riku had built out of driftwood- Kairi said, "Stop treating me like a doll."
"What?" Sora asked.
"I'm not going to collapse if you kiss me too hard."
"I know that," Sora said.
"Then really kiss me. Kiss me like you and Riku kiss."
So Sora scooted a little closer to her on the couch. "Okay," he said, He moved one hand behind her head, and kissed her gently on the lips.
He'd planned to gradually get more passionate. But Kairi interrupted his plan by shoving her tongue into his mouth.
He felt himself reacting more than he had expected. He pulled away a little so that she wouldn't feel his erection- and she grabbed his ass and yanked him closer again, her grin wicked against his mouth.
"That's more like it," she said, pulling away briefly for air before kissing him again.
Taking his cue from Kairi's behavior, and hoping he was doing everything alright, Sora ground against her hip. Kairi made an appreciative noise, so Sora figured he was doing something right.
"I leave for five minutes and the two of you are all over each other," Riku said from behind them, amused.
Sora and Kairi broke apart reluctantly. "You could join us," Sora pointed out.
Riku came over and loomed awkwardly over them both. Kairi grabbed his ass, since apparently this was her working strategy today. Then she looked up at his face, as though daring him to make the next move.
He leaned down and kissed her, sweetly. Kairi looked disappointed. "Harder than that," she commanded. She stood, presumably to make this easier for him. Then she grabbed him by the hair and mashed their mouths together.
Sora winced a little. It looked painful. But it got her message across. Riku pulled away for a moment and rubbed his jaw- "Dammit, Kairi, that hurt-" but then he pulled her into a deeper kiss, his hands curling around her sides, nearly touching at the small of her back. His mouth moved to her neck, leaving a trail of hickeys in its wake.
Kairi's eyes flicked to Sora, and she jerked her head to the side a little as if to say get over here, you idiot.
Sora didn't need to be told twice.
Sora let out a sigh of relief when Riku and Kairi were finally gone and he'd made it back home, through the (thankfully empty) house, and into his room.
He loved Riku and Kairi. He loved spending time with them. But sometimes a guy needed a little alone time, especially since there was currently a lot of kissing and no sex.
He went upstairs to his room, still remembering the way Kairi had pressed her hips against him, the way Riku had shoved his tongue down his throat, and involuntarily let out a little moan.
Thank God no one was around to hear it.
He locked the door, sat on the edge of his bed, and unzipped his pants. It was time to take care of things himself.
You do realize you aren't really alone? Roxas said.
Sora flushed beet red. He quickly zipped up his pants again.
Sorry, he said, completely and utterly mortified.
Some things had definitely been easier when Roxas had slept most of the time.
Stupid, Roxas said. You aren't the only one here that needs this. It's my body, too, right? That's what you keep telling me, anyway.
Roxas took control of their hands and unzipped Sora's pants again.
Sora hadn't realized it was possible to blush harder than he'd been blushing. But apparently it was.
Not that he did anything to stop Roxas as his hands wandered. Instead, he relaxed, letting Roxas have more control. It was just like masturbation, he decided. Or possibly a hand job. But neither of those things were terribly weird, so this wasn't, either, he decided. Nope, not weird at all.
He kept telling himself that as Roxas began to jerk him off quickly and efficiently. And Sora wondered- had Roxas done this before, in Sora's body?
Chances were, he had. He'd had Sora's body for nearly a year, while Sora slept and Namine restored his memories. What guy went a whole year without masturbating? Sora imagined Roxas in total control, doing the same thing to himself that he was now doing to Sora- only, still in Sora's body- and at that exact moment, he came.
That was the first time. It wasn't the last, because they were teenagers and horny and often frustrated. Making out with Kairi and Riku stirred things up, and stirring things down again sort of had to be done together, since Roxas and Sora shared a body. Sometimes Roxas took control, and sometimes Sora was in charge, but they always did it together.
Sora liked it better when Roxas had control. It was strange, not to have total control of himself, but it wasn't like he had total control of himself all the time anyway, so it wasn't scary or anything, like it might have been. And it was weirdly hot, which Sora wasn't entirely comfortable with yet.
And maybe it was weird, not to be able to jerk off in private. Alone. But Sora was getting used to never being alone. It was sort of a nice change after all that time spent separated from Riku and Kairi and, well, the parts of himself that were Roxas.
If a lack of privacy was the only price to pay for having all of them back again, he was willing to pay it, and gladly.
Next Chapter: 03 Growing Up